


Dancing

by AngstAndAnxiety



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M, Sibling Incest, Songfic, first person POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 15:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstAndAnxiety/pseuds/AngstAndAnxiety
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its your duty as a cool older brother to teach your baby bro how to dance, even if its hard in more ways than one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dancing

♒

 

 

“-And you won't believe it, she actually turned me down on a simple dance.”

 

“Of course, who would ever turn _you_ down?”

 

“My point exactly! I generously offered that bitch a dance and what do I get? A coke in the face.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“She’s probably a whore too; hell, I KNOW it. She took the hand of some other scorch and left me in the dust.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

It had become fairly obvious during the conversation (complaining monologue), that his attention had lingered almost painfully with boredom toward the small moths that bumped into one another in the soft golden glow that was given off by the lamp beside your worn windowsill. Even patterned footprints left from your boots wore into the now dulled white paint from your almost bi-weekly schemes to gain attention by running away from home, seemed to offer a shade or two of more interest than the topic at hand. Still, at first it didn’t even grate on your oh so fragile nerves too harshly, but by the time his lengthy and insulting responses were sliced into small quips or grunts back, you had enough. With a small yet fairly annoyed sigh, a new course of action was quickly created. Only then did you reach across the gap of space between the two of you, and you snapped your fingers directly a mere inch away from his hooked nose.

 

“Ey, space cadet, are you even giving two cents to this conversation here?”

 

His eyes dilated just so slightly in the low lighting of your bedroom. In response he slowly sat himself up until he was no longer resting his stomach and forearms against the plush blankets that spread along the twin bed the two of you currently occupied. He removed his palm from his cheek next as that bored expression contorted into one that matched none other than the Ampora brand of annoyance. It was bitter and icy cold on even the warmest of souls.

 

“Keep your filthy fingers outta my god damn face or I’ll gut you.”

 

Of course you only responded with snapping your fingers in his face with both hands until he slapped your arm a little harder than necessary, but hey, who could have blamed you? He’s always been pretty cute with his face reddening with a boiling anger. Other than that though, that portion of the subject had been dropped, leaving the two of you to sit in silence. It had seemed to calm the other man pretty nicely while you could only fumble uncomfortably with a loose string hanging off from the front of your washed jeans. The small lack of speaking though between you two allowed soft sounds to seep in though, which Eridan seemed to only drink in as his face cooled to the usual pale completion you had always associated him with. Even the crickets soft songs had become audible along with shifting tree’s as maple leafs had brushed together in the warm summer air. Despite each usually unheard sound, it left you wriggling uncomfortably, because wow, silence and quiet has never really been your thing.

 

It didn't even take more than twenty seconds before you caved and spoke up once more, as your palm smoothed the dark chestnut locks of your hair back gently, keeping all loose curls only a dream rather than a possibility.

 

“Fine then. Haven’t you ever been rejected by a honey at one of your childish school ‘dances’?”

 

You use air quotes not to be exactly rude, but hey, those things weren't even real get downs. There was no booze to go around or any awkward groping toward the end and personally, you’d rather that your dad wouldn't be at one of these events, but hey, he really loved Eridan. Love meaning that he treated the kid like a fucking special snowflake while he ground you to death over grades, friends, hobbies, you name it. Least to say, you weren't exactly the favorite child either way, but you’re sure you read somewhere that parents acted ruder to their kids before they left home for good.

 

You got the feeling that wasn't why though.

 

“Well.”

 

Eridan started, and sat himself upward, with his little hands holding both of his feet in his small palms, and rocked a little to the topic, looking obviously uncomfortable and sure enough, its exactly what you wanted. It felt always felt like a game to push his buttons further and further to see how long it would take till he reached the point of a nuclear explosion, but as your techniques grew dull, new tactics were employed. Still, you could never go wrong with the classic teasing.

 

“I got a pretty strong feelin’ that this aint your fuckin’ business either way.”

 

You could only grin at the venom and pursue the question only further despite the obviously present danger given. He was close to snapping again at that point, but that’s just what you had hoped for. Just a few more pokes and prods, and-

 

“So you have.”

 

His eyes squinted pretty harshly behind those thick framed specs that gradually had scooted over the small bump along his ivory nose, and damn is it a shame he covered them up like that. Those rounded almond eyes were the color of the sky on a clear day without a single cloud to muddle or morph that beautiful shade of cerulean. Sadly with the thick of glass layered over them, they gave off only a weaker shade that slightly gave dotting hints to their real tone. They were absolutely breathtaking and it was a serious shock that he even dared to cover them almost protectively with glasses that matched his childhood personality almost painfully well.

 

“Ever consider that I'm the one doing the rejectin’?”

 

Well. Now that was a shock. You would have figured the kid would be hanging off of Meenah’s sister, begging any girl (Or guy) that breathed in his vicinity, to at least wiggle in his direction. Then again, he wasn't that desperate looking, even with those little scarfs and rag shoes that were apparently in style despite how trashy the look was.

 

Although you could see him nicely with one person, really well actua-

 

“Damn kid, so you’re a regular playboy now. Alright, so why won’t you take the offer?”

 

Don’t think about it, now is not the time.

 

“Well-“

 

You didn't even give him another breath or single word in before you leaned forward with an entranced expression, which nicely showed your interest in the subject, but realistically, you only pressed the topic to force back unwanted thoughts to the darkest corners of your mind in hopes that they’d strangle and die before returning to whisper in your freckled ears once more.

 

“What, were they all ugly?”

 

“Actually-“

 

“I bet they were all bucktooth bimbos. Weren’t they?”

 

“Cro-“

 

“Or were they all some chaste chicks?”

 

“Cronus.”

 

“Ah so they were some crazy church chicks! Crud bro, that sucks pretty bad.”

 

“Cronus!”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“That’s not why, jesus christ. Can’t you just let me get a fuckin’ word in for once?”

 

“Alright, tell me why then and I’ll zip my lips.”

 

You kept on grinning back while making a silly lip zipping motion that teachers taught you as a kid. You kinda had a real bad problem with not knowing when to shut up in grade school and a good chunk of the metaphorical but ever present ‘everyone hates Cronus’ group came together around that time too. They probably related somehow.

 

“Well…“

 

He fumbled as his left hand twisted the large gem stone rings that wrapped along his pointer finger almost nervously. It couldn’t have been that bad, but in that split second, it clicked.

 

“You can’t dance?”

 

The reaction was downright a scream and it was far better than you had hoped for. He blushed pretty darkly looking like he had been caught wanking off in front of the cops, or even worse, Dad. His legs had pulled inward pretty quickly and he hugged them to his chest, looking at literally anything but you. Just the horrified expression he made though, just made you itch to smooth back his hair and make him redder than the surface of the sun.

 

“So I’m right.”

 

You could even hear the cocky smile with each word that tumbled from your lips, which of course (like always) he didn’t seem to care for too much.

 

“Fuck off Cro.”

 

Oh burn, your heart just totally broke right there, because you're brother told you to fuck off? Wow, what an ache.

 

“Hey now, that aint too nice to insult your older bro like that. Tell you what, how about I teach you how to do a jig or two to help you win over a sweet kitten.”

 

He didn’t even bother raising his head to throw back the next insult.

 

“Cro I doubt you could even get a female even if it was a guide dog to keep you from gettin’ yourself from becomin' roadkill.”

 

Only a moment later he added;

 

"And a ''jig'', really? Get your head outta your ass already, it aint the 1950's"

 

Still, you persisted in hopes of coaxing that stubborn kid to somewhat bend under your will.

 

“Ouch. Come on Eri, jus’ lemme try for once and give you a lending hand, and yes, a jig."

 

"It aint gonna kill you.” You added.

 

It took a few minutes of empty silence again before he dared to allow his posture to finally go lax along with his eyes finally raising to at least look in your general presence. Okay, that was definitely a step in the right direction. So rather than replying and destroying your now god send of a chance, you slipped off from the lightning bolt themed comforter.

 

The floor sighed as your sock clad toes slapped against it with an audible creak, and within a few steps you had crossed the room over to your recently dusted mp3 player doc. It was small, black, and rather sleek looking, minus the bulky mp3 player jutting from the side of it. It rested almost peacefully atop of the rather space consuming dresser beside the slightly cracked window.

 

The system wasn't exactly rocket science to work out, so it was fairly easy to press a button or two at the time. Right after the power was turned on, you 1) underestimated the volume, and 2) forgot to change the song, considering that 'Greased Lightning' was playing loud enough to do more than have fireworks going off in both of your eardrums. Hell, it scared you to death (you had jumped a bit further than you'd admit to the next guy) and Eridan was cupping his ears in pain, which definitely made for a pretty strong mood killer. By the time you managed to turn the damn thing off, both of your ears were ringing painfully, and a few locks managed to wriggle free from your slicked back style.

 

"Play that again, or anythin' that loud for that matter, and i'll push you off the roof." Eridan growled, as he smoothed back his own chestnut locks, along with adjusting the few fallen strands of violet that streaked it.

 

Your hands rose in defense pretty quickly, but his anger did make pretty good sense considering the previous week's music fiasco. Let’s just say Eridan was in a little study session with his best girl, and you felt the need to blast the whole grease soundtrack (even the bonus songs), and when you say blast, you fucking mean ear splitting loud. Your brother had a serious hate for the soundtrack by the end of last year, so it made the headache from the sheer volume absolutely worth it since you got to see him embarrass himself in front of her like that. Who knew the lil Peixes hated him getting pissy with you so much.

 

You practically laughed yourself to sleep by the words of 'grump gills' and 'eri-fish' that night.

 

"'ts cool Eridan. Just calm the heck down man and i'll take care of the volume and I can get on some sweet tunes we'll both enjoy."

 

He wouldn't and doesn't object while you turn your back to him and begin scrolling through your mp3 player, of course making sure to lower the sound setting first. You know he likes your newer music, not the old 50’s themed stuff, but the real and smooth indie music, the good stuff. The kind that makes your head want to bob and feet to tap just to attempt to match the scattered but mesmerizing beat. Both of you have always been drawn to music like that, and it’s pretty damn wonderful to bond over music together. Just laying side by side and enjoying it cradle your eardrums with each soft rhythm and heavy snap of the beat. Its been within the last year or so, but if anything the two of you have gotten a lot closer over it, maybe even more so than you two were as ankle biters. Hell, you can remember what started the renewed friendship like it was yesterday.

 

♒

 

 

_“Show us life and things that you did _—_ ”_

 

 

Your head bobs at the first line, along with a snap to kick it off as your eyes fell shut.

 

 

_“ _—_ Each and every thing I see _—_ _

 

__—_ Takes me back before I was me _—_ ” _

 

 

A gentle tap of your foot against the ash colored bedding joins in.

 

 

_“ _—_ We have seen what lies beneath the earth Everything that has ever been and will become _—_ ”_

 

 

Your mouth opens with a lick to your bottom lip-

 

 

_“ _—_ Where are all these singing birds _—_ “_

 

 

Right as the beat thumped and swung along into the chorus you were singing softly, resting on your bed with your legs crossed and arms behind your head, only to be interrupted by the door beside you opening slowly. Your eyes peeped open and your voice drawled off to find your brother shutting the door and scooting onto the other side of your bed in silence. He looked surprisingly relaxed and frankly for once you decided not to be a dick and talk. Three hours went by in a blaze of hums and soft foot tapping, the kid even sang quietly after the first hour.

 

It felt pretty good not to hear I hate you for once.

 

 

♒

 

 

“Cro?” Eridan asks, who was sitting cross legged at the time as you loomed over the speakers, lost in thought.

 

God, how long had you zoned out for?

 

“Right, gimme a second, and would you get off my back already?”

 

“Waitin’ two minutes while you’re in ‘Cro’ land is a fuckin’ good excuse to ‘get on your back’.”

 

_Fuck, that long?_

 

Well that was a serious kick in the pants to scroll just a bit faster. Surprisingly enough your thumb caught on the perfect song so with a small grin, you tapped it and adjusted the speakers so they’d play it relatively quietly when the play button will get pressed. After, you turned to get a look at your younger brother with one of your hands extended toward him.

 

“What?”

 

He asks, as he made a semi grossed out face toward your palm, like you dunked it in a toilet or something, which only made you grin and wiggle your fingers.

 

“Hop on up, your big bro is gonna teach you how to dance like a real gentleman.”

 

“I’ll pass since I’d rather learn from someone who won’t teach me how to pray on others.”

 

Oh no, he isn't getting out of it this easily. His bait for a fight was tempting to take, but you managed to push back the growing urge to tell the kid off and instead you keep your hand extended in silence until he finally cracks and takes your hand in his. Before he can even stand on his own, you tug on his palm, pulling him up instead. He squeaks a little as he stumbles along, but you manage to catch him and even hold him up a little.

 

“God, fuck you and your repulsive, sleazy mind.”

 

He snarls, but you quickly retort.

 

“When and where, baby?”

 

“Pig.”

 

“Dumbass.”

 

And that was the end of that. Somehow you even managed the last word too as your arms searched for the right place to rest them. It ended with you taking Eridan’s freckled hands and placing them on your sides gently while only one arm hung over his shoulder. The other was reaching a good two feet or so to press play on the music player, and as the song began, you started to speak again.

 

“Alright, I'm being generous here and giving you the boys position, so you can know what to do when you get a girl under your arm like this, alright?”

 

He rolled his eyes as you looped your other arm around his shoulder and the first song finally began, quietly and calmly.

 

“Move your hands a little higher on my hips.” He does.

 

“-Now you gotta sway a little back and forth, real slow like."

 

He abided and swayed his hips a little, as you followed suit, making for a little bit of an awkward dance for a while and only into the chorus of the song did he speak again. It was somewhat of a bummer considering that you actually really enjoyed this song and especially the vocals, but it seemed important to some degree. This time his tone took on more of a questioning shadow rather than an annoyed one.

 

"This doesn't feel like a casual dance Cro."

 

"Course not, 'ts a slow dance. You gotta learn the sweet stuff before getting down and dirty for real.”

 

You smile and he makes a face.

 

This goes on for a while, but as you taught him spins, a four-step and even how to properly dip without dropping your partner (don't do it, its a real mood killer and sure fire way of keeping your virginity even though you already bought the condoms), the teasing gradually died down and evolved into a rather calm silence which was comfortably filled with the music playing at a low volume.

 

Each song came and left with a passing block of about a three second silence in between, but as the playlist drew to a close, the final jam began with a kick of the drums followed by a smoothed beat. The vocals were obviously male with that odd hipstery sound that always made you think of retro clothing shops.

 

 

_"—So you're on the prowl wondering whether she left already or not_

 

_Leather jacket, collar popped like antenna. —"_

 

 

The song itself reminded you of school dances all over again, from the awkward glances to your sweaty palms as you held some beautiful gals hand. The last song of the night was set to play and the DJ would have been set on bringing the two genders together. It spoke of brace-faced smiles and thick glasses, but also young love.

 

 

_"—Never knowing when to stop_

 

_Sunglasses indoors, par for the course_

 

_Lights in the floors and sweat on the walls_

 

_Cages and poles. —"_

 

 

Your eyes dropped toward Eridan, and caught him glancing down, he counted his steps under his breath to keep the dance at a good pace. It was kinda sweet actually to see him trying so hard despite the teasing and frustration from before.

 

 

_"—Call off the search for your soul, or put it on hold again_

 

_She's having a sly indoor smoke_

 

_And she calls the folks who run this her oldest friends_

 

_Sipping a drink and laughing at imaginary jokes_

 

_As all the signals are sent, her eyes invite you to approach_

 

_And it seems as though those lumps in your throat_

 

_That you just swallowed have got you going.—"_

 

 

You didn't really focus on the lyrics anymore at this point, but for a known reason the melody had you tempted to cling just a little bit tighter onto your brother. The urge took over soon enough as you pulled your forearms over his shoulders, bringing him closer which brought the soft, curled hairs atop his head just under your nose. They tickled.

 

 

_"—Come on, come on, come on_

 

_Come on, come on, come on_

 

_Number one party anthem—"_

 

It was awkward and an uncomfortable position but all you could think about was the smell of shampoo that clung to his hair as your eyes slowly shut.

 

_"—She's a certified mind blower, knowing full well that I don't_

 

_May suggest there's somewhere from which you might know her_

 

_Just to get the ball to roll_

 

_Drunken monologues, confused because It's not like I'm falling in love I just want you to do me no good_

 

_And you look like you could—"_

 

 

You didn't even hear the chorus play at that point. The song only melted into a wash of colors that blanked your surroundings as the heart in your chest thrummed just a bit harder than before.

 

 

♒

 

 

You were eight years old when you had your first crush.

 

It was mid spring, when all of the beautiful flowers in momma’s garden began to bloom and swell with brilliant colors. The sun rose high in the sky making for an unseasonably warm day, but no matter how much sweat ran over your scraped elbows and knees you didn’t care, because you were on a mission.

 

"Take it."

 

You mumbled as your tiny hand thrusts forward with a bundle of daisies that you ripped from the backyard. They were still fresh and dripped with crumbling soil and with a few stray earthworms that were unlucky enough to be caught in the middle of all of it. Momma won't be happy, but it was for a good cause.

 

"What?" Your younger brother replies with even tinier palms that fisted the fabric of his too long scarf that grandma knitted.

 

"They're for you dummy." You replied, pushing them forward again with now reddened cheeks and a crooked toothed pout.

 

"Momma is gonna be so mad Cro! Im telling, im telling!"

 

You shoved dirt in his pants and the daisies up his nose and ended up being sent to your room for an hour.

 

 

♒

 

 

You we're thirteen years old when you started to hate Meenah's little sister.

 

You leaned against the wall that separated Eridan’s bedroom from your shared bathroom, with your pressed ear pretty roughly to the floral wallpaper wall. The mission was clear and just to gain a better clarity of the voices on the other side; you remained perfectly still, slowed your breathing, with your thin pinky finger in your free ear, and even removed the rounded glasses that usually rested atop your crooked nose.

 

"Fef," Eridan began, speaking with a soft and seemingly shy tone that squeaked with prepubescent shame any tween would carry.

 

"Yeah?" A feminine, but equally as young, voice came from what sounded like across the room, which was accompanied by the sound of plastic clattering. Dolls probably.

 

"I think I like you."

 

There was a brief between the two.

 

"As a friend?"

 

"As a girlfriend."

 

Oh.

 

The conversation continued on but you were only able to slip down the wall in shock and hug your knees. Your head rested against the toilets tank with a blank expression and despite the arguing, the slap, the sound of the door slamming and your little brother rushing out sobbing for her to come back, you remained put and suffered in silence.

 

 

♒

 

 

You were fifteen when you gave up magic for good and a week after your birthday, your brother followed suit.

 

He told you 'i hate you' for the first time today.

 

 

♒

 

 

You were sixteen when you told your therapist about Eridan and you never went back.

 

She said it’s dangerous to care about him in the way you do. 'Wrong', 'harmful' and 'toxic' were used a lot in her expansive vocabulary.

 

You told her to suck your cock and spent the night wondering what it would be like to drag him into bed and make him see stars.

 

 

♒

 

 

Your bodies had somehow nudged closer over the period of the song and somehow Eridan's chin had awkwardly angled itself to rest on your shoulder with a soft sigh, but you didn't mind at all.

 

In fact you were happier than you had been in years.

 

 

_"—Come on, come on, come on_

 

_Come on, come on, come on_

 

_Before the moment’s gone_

 

_Number one party anthem_

 

_The look of love - the rush of blood_

 

_The "She's with me" - the Gallic shrug_

 

_The shutterbugs - the Camera Plus_

 

_The black and white - the colour dodge_

 

_The good time girls - the cubicles_

 

_The house of fun - the number one party anthem—"_

 

 

The last lines were drawing too quickly into the closing lines, and it seemed as if you were both ready to react like any other humans would. His head rose from its place, allowing your eyes to lock with lidded gazes as your bodies swayed and mingled in the low lights. The look you wore was a longing one that only gave a gentle whisper of what you’ve felt for these past eleven years.

 

Eleven already?

 

 

_"—Come on, come on, come on—"_

 

 

When you looked at him you swore that you saw the universe basking in an eternal blue in his eyes, the sun gave freckles and bright hues to his skin, and the stars lining his lips in their florescent glow. He was absolutely breathtaking in every way imaginable and your heart resigned in his pure being for longer than you could possibly take, despite each and every flaw he carried.

 

Despite every yell or tantrum.

 

Despite every fight he sparked over the stupid things.

 

Despite how he embarrassed you almost everywhere you went together.

 

Despite all of it.

 

 

_"—Come on, come on, come on—"_

 

 

As it turns out, in this moment, you were nineteen years old when you found out that you were, have been, and will most likely always be head over heels in love with your brother, and it all never could have feel so right and wrong all at once. It made you want and need to kiss him with a passion that would strike him so deeply that he'd never leave your side or your bed. He'd be your King and you'd be the knight who’d protect him till his last breath, just like in the fairy tales Dad read the two of you when you were little kids.

 

None of the rules mattered anymore. There was no therapist, parent, friend, or even bloodline to tell you it was wrong in this moment.

 

 

_"—Come on, come on, come on—"_

 

 

Your neck extended slightly as you leaned down toward him, but he didn't seem to make a single move aside from parting his lips with flushed cheeks. The palms at your sides felt damp and were able smell the more disgusting scents of his breath, but none of it mattered. You were in love and ready to tell him it after all of these years of longing, stolen glances, wished sensations, wanting and even praying with just a single and simple ki—

 

 

_"—Come on, come on, come on—"_

 

 

Suddenly a recognizable car door slammed from outside in the darkness of the driveway, making you both jump slightly. The eye contact and the moment broke off completely and both of your eyes widened slightly in the general direction of the slam.

 

_Dad._

 

Not even seconds later after the warm palms at your sides retracted as if they had been scalded with boiling water, and your arms dropped from his shoulders with a pained loss, but you understood why.

 

 

_"—Before the moment's gone—"_

 

 

He backed up swiftly and turned on his heel, looking obviously bewildered. Before you knew it the door only a few steps away was shutting softly but quickly, leaving you alone with just the memories and the last, lingering lines of the song.

 

 

_"—Number one party anthem—"_

 

_"—Number one party anthem—"_

 

_"—Number one party anthem."_

 

 

The last note had drawled off gradually into silence as the playlist reset and you honestly couldn't remember when you started crying.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The alternative title for this was originally going to be "I vwanted to fuck my brother but all I got vwas this shitty dance.", or "I've lost control of my life because I can't stop thinking about Ampora's" but I restrained myself.


End file.
